"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
