There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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