scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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