So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
