guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize