you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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