high people should be assigned attendants
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
When did angry sex become our thing?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
