Me. At least after what I've been through.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
