Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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