i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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