whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
