We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
