So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
