I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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