Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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