We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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