I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
