Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
if only i could text you this smell
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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