Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize