I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
