i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I stole a fireplace last night.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
