please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
