He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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