My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
