Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Randomize
