Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Randomize
