Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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