I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
