Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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