I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
