is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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