Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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