There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
