So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
