I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
