I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize