i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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