Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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