One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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