I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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