I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Even my vagina gasped.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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