He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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