I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
The Olympian is in my bed
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
