sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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