yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
