I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
