So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
