grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
please come you make the beer taste better
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
