Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize