ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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