i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
