dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
