so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
