had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
