i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
