I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
