forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
