And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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