I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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