So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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