Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
