some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
