and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Randomize
