Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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