i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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