Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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