I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize