how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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