I need help removing her.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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