Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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