Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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