Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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