I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
