yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
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