I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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