So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize