we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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