Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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