Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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